Heybabeimwearingurpanties
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
