end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
she told me i tasted like america
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
