What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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