Someone shit on the floor
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
