Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
