she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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