After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
