the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This is my gift to your gina
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You were trust falling into bushes
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
