youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
