Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
