The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
