Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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