i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
