i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize