Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I fill condoms, not promises.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
