I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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