i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
