I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
