Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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