A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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