She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
