I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
What a dumb baby whore.
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Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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