Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
