I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
