She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
