The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
