I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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