So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
