six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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