She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My balls are so social today.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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