I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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