Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
