we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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