just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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