well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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