he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
