So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
