Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
