ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
