Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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