i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
