He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
