I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
