remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
