i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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