the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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