How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Randomize
