I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
