I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
