Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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