my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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